The Price of Stupid

JUST WHEN things were looking up, I managed to make a stupid mistake in the gym - a stupid, rookie mistake - and it's cost me. Well, I'm not yet finished adding up what it's gonna cost me...

Irritated with the combo bench I was using, I decided to move. I decided to move the bar while

The Might Hump - grown under the Yoke

loaded, and carry it over to the next bench. I lifted the bar and took one step forward, from the raised platform to the ground. My right foot bent inwards, and then completely dislocated, hanging 90 degrees from the bottom of my shin. When I raised my leg to examine it closer, my flailing foot scraped along the ground and with a - pop! - relocated itself again. I was in shock so didn't feel much at all, other than the sensation of bone and cartilage snapping back into place.

All nearby members rushed to my aid; I cant remember now who did what, but I think Ando and Taylor removed the bar while another fella I haven't officially met yet (and possibly Troy?) grabbed an ice pack and something to keep my foot elevated. Again, just going from memory, but I think Yianni's most significant contribution was laughter and commentary with the recurrent theme "you won't do that again, huh?." *

After several minutes of elevation and ice on the ankle I decided to try standing. It was then that I noticed the top digit of my right ring finger was permanently curled over. I couldn't stretch it out, and the meat in the digit felt... odd. I assumed I'd lost a tendon.

Images from my shoulder surgery, early 2013

It wasn't much fun but I made it home, even managing to shower and hobble about the house, intermittently putting weight on the (now quite swollen) ankle, impatient for the movement to return to it. But the next morning it was a great deal worse. The whole foot was now fat, with swelling on both sides of the joint. Still not much bruising... but more painful. I found myself relying on my high school hockey stick to hop around. I made an appointment to see my GP, who (after I waited the now standard fifty five minutes) referred me to the ER of St John of God, conveniently located down the street.

Four or five hours later, I left Midland health complex with my fat foot in a moon boot, my finger splinted and a shiny new crutch under each arm. The x-ray showed two fractures in the foot - one on either side of the ankle. A doctor told me the previous night and first half of that day I'd spent attempting to walk on it was the very opposite of a good idea.

Best to remember your deadlift socks, peeps.

I also now have to shower sitting in a special highchair. For how long I couldn't tell you; I won't get the opportunity to see a specialist till May 9th, that being a consultation. The MRIs and the possibility of surgery to either my ankle or finger will happen some time after that. The ER doctor informed me that if the finger tendon has been completely severed it will require surgery and I'd need to spend 6-8 weeks with the digit completely straight. If this is the case, I think I'll just skip it. It's my stupid hand (I'm a southpaw), it doesn't hurt and I don't need that finger to be straight all the time anyway. If it's not curled around a bar of some description, a steering wheel, or a knife (on those rare occasions I don't eat with my hands) then what's it doing? Nothing, that's what.

But my ankle is a deal more serious. I need that strong, so keeping my 130-odd kilograms off of it as much as possible is the game plan for the immediate future. This unfortunately also means I won't be able to go to the Iron Maiden concert when they land in Perth in just two weeks.

Such a stupid mistake. But this wasn't something minor, like forgetting your deadlift socks or towel. This wasn't one of those many, many injuries that you could call 'par for the course' when it comes to being a strength athlete. This was a majorly stupid incident. All coz I didn’t want to spend the extra twenty seconds required to unload the fucking bar first. Now I'll be lucky if I can restart my restart of the restart to my training I started this year, in less than two months from now. The one upside I can note is that the niggling issue I've been having with my right quad is bound to sort itself out in the time I am forced to keep off of it. So, yay...

The swelling got, like, three times this big.

Meh...

 


*apologies to Yianni if I'm wrong about this.